Nudity! "The Natural State of Man"
I grew up in the Midwest on a farm where no other farm house was close enough to be visible. I guess, I grew up feeling alone most of the time. From that loneliness sprang an interest in geography, maps and far away places. I, also, spent many hours listening on the radio late into the night to sports events and all types and styles of music broadcast from faraway cities. After I attained a driver's license, I would travel to the county seat at least once a week to secure mostly books of fiction to read.
I enjoyed my school years and took advantage of everything academic and sports opportunity that my small rural high school offered. I just knew I had to find a way to get to college and with parents. who had only eighth grade educations, this was a very alien concept to them. In such a small school no guidance counselors were available on staff so I had to do it on my own....and I mean on my own. But one of my teachers and the county superintendent of schools helped me in my darkest hour to attain a school to rather prestigious private university. Also the teacher's association in my county gave a scholarship to one student each year and they made me the recipient of that award. I have always been grateful to those educators for giving me a window that opened to the world. I have remained curious and open to most all ideas to this day.
This blog is definitely meant to be read by men and only men. I am not exactly sure where to start, but I always knew I had the "urge" to be with men, as early as five or six, when two boys on neighboring farms would take me to this isolated swimming hole and wanted to jack off. So these older boys were 11 and 12 and already had pubes and could cum. They taught me the pleasures of jacking off so they could do it too when we all went swimming after working on the farm.
I know I looked up to these older friends. They weren't perverted, they were just horny. As they grew into men they were both very handsome, heterosexual and successful. They both married and raised family and I assume lived relative happy lives and are still married to the same women to this day. Do they still "bone up" around other naked men, I am not sure, but I know I do. For me, in every close friendship in my life their was a sexual component.
I played sports in high school and I know I loved my best friend Steve, who was the school sports star. He use to sleep over at night in a double bed on my family farm with me...I know now that I loved him. However, I never acted on the sexual urges that I had for him, though.
When I got to college my college roommate had been All State in basketball in high school and was the captain of the college basketball team our senior year. He initiated sex with me, when we first started living together in our sophomore year and we ended up having anal intercourse . I use to fuck him. (Just to be clear about what was happening) He was dating his high school sweetheart and as I was mine. I loved him so, he was my best man and I his. We both married within the year following graduation. That was during those times when the word queer was thrown around, we didn't even know any other meaning the word gay then.
My sexual philosophy!
I have been divorced now for twelve years this month. I have developed very strong views of how gay sexual and love relationships work in those nine years living as a gay man. A lot of men, who have been out and in the gay world a long time, take issue with my philosophy. I feel strongly that heterosexual and gay relationships develop very differently and much like this:
A Heterosexual relationship: friendship, dating, love, then sex usually after some commitment to the relationship.
A Gay relationship: Sex hookup (If hot sex), a friendship, love, then dating leading to a committed relationship.
**** The golden rule that all gay men should understand and expect to find happiness is that "no gay relationship is monogamous". If both partners say they are monogamous, at least one is lying. There is a difference between having M4M sex and cheating. Cheating for a gay man is only when there becomes an emotional attachment or love with the other man.
I had some very specific suggestions for the group "meetups." I really wanted the emphasis to be on making friends! So each member would be expected to greet all other members upon arrival and attempt to make some conversation with each member. Also, upon arrival each man was to strip naked because nudity at indoor sessions was not to be optional. All healthy men, gay or straight, were expected to have erections and they could feel free to masturbation at anytime when we were together as a group.
One of the problems for me in group sex or orgy sex is the often unwanted touching of some men by others in the group. So the touching of another guy was to be done only after an understood invitation and never based on an assumption. What I wanted most for the group's members was to eventually find some friends to spend time with outside of the group sessions. The goal was to find close and trusted friends, and to develop friendships that went beyond the casual " Fuck Buddy" relationship.